Strong and Squishy

Sometimes I wonder about mantras. Mantras teeter dangerously close to chanting/meditation. And we all know about that slippery slope into chakras, crystals, and energy healing.

My future mother-in-law recently said something along the lines of "Oh, I don't believe my house will ever be robbed--I put good energy into the universe."

Similarly, her own sister-in-law studies (and is currently being mentored in) the ehh...healing...art? Of Reiki. Essentially, it's the laying on of hands (in a thoughtful, reverent way, but not quite prayerful like in Christian religion, but with thoughts toward effecting change) to heal one's energy.

While I deeply care for these people and I know that plenty of folks feel very fulfilled by this type of meditative concentration on one's energy, it's all too--flimsy for me to take any of it seriously. According to systematic, random, clinical trials, there is no evidence that supports it at all. ( Lee, MS; Pittler, MH; Ernst, E (2008). "Effects of Reiki in clinical practice: a systematic review of randomized clinical trials". International Journal of Clinical Practice 62 (6): 947–54. doi:10.1111/j.1742-1241.2008.01729.x. PMID 18410352. http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1742-1241.2008.01729.x. Retrieved 2008-05-02.)

I understand how meditation, seeking calm within onself, can make a person feel emotionally/mentally more at ease. I do not believe that these practices manifest any physical effect on the world (other than the fact that a calm person might do their job better, be less likely to smash a tomato into my face, etc.). The idea that your positive energy waves DO anything is just nonsense.

But when I'm feeling like the last 30 seconds of my running interval are just impossible, or I don't feel like going to the gym to move heavy objects, or when I'm worried that I feel like my exercise/hard work isn't DOING anything, I keep almost--dare I say--prayerfully repeating one word over and over in my mind: Strong.

I want to be strong. I want to have a powerful and agile human body.

It feels like both a reminder of my goals, and a way to mentally toughen myself up for what I want/need to do.

This is especially helpful now. I know my weight is going down, but the physical appearance of my body seems--worse. It's like my fat is getting more dimply and squishy. DIMPLY AND SQUISHY?? It's such a poor reward for all of my hard work.

Strong.

It's hard to do, but I know I need to ignore the pudge for now and focus on the other (positive) changes. The weights I am able to lift keep getting heavier. My ability to finish my runs with gusto keeps improving.

I am strong. I am getting stronger.