Okay. Here is paleo's biggest problem.
It takes PLANNING. You need to keep in constant supply of meats and veggies. You need to cook/prepare said veggies before they turn into brown slime in your fridge. When you are hungry for SNACKS (and not a meal), you need to have snacks on hand for each type of craving (sweet, salty, crunchy, cold, etc). You need to have TIME (and energy, frankly) to cook your meals.
Failure in any of these areas results in cheating. Fast food can be easier than all of these. When I'm feeling like crap, it's hard to motivate myself to defrost/cook those chicken breasts, clean/prep the veg, and cook them. When I'm feeling munchy at work, unless I have pre-made some kale chips, veggie slices, or brought some other item, I either have to go hungry or get creative at 7-11.
Lately, due to some unexpected stresses (including a failed IUD and other complications), I haven't really done ANY planning or preparing. Each time I need to eat, I'm worrying about what I CAN eat.
My fallback has been beef jerky, almonds, applesauce, and superproteinyogurt (woo!).
I dunno. We'll see if I can improve on this in the next few days.
The other problem I've been having is poor appetite. I'll have that general queasiness that hunger gives you, but no motivation to eat anything. Each idea of what to eat is met with "meh." I end up forcing myself to get some calories into my body because I know I should. We'll see if this appetite lethargy passes.
Monday, July 09, 2012
Wednesday, July 04, 2012
Just kiddinngggg. Life is great!
Sooo....last night, my symptoms of vertigo began to diminish. Best of all, I was able to EAT. All day, I was too nauseous (even with Zofran) to stomach anything substantial. For dinner, I had chicken broth.
Considering the chicken I had stomached earlier, a few cherries, and some nibblets here and there when I could manage them, I had eaten maybe 600 calories for the day. As my appetite increased (at 9:30pm), I was ravenous, but not sure what I wanted. A spoonful of almond butter, a slice of cheese, and a few mouthfulls of my "superproteinyogurt" later and I headed to bed feeling DAMN good considering the crappy day I had had.
What is this superproteinyogurt, you ask? It's a scoopful of whey protein (the brand is Optimum Nutrition, the flavor is strawberry) into about 1/2c whole fat greek yogurt. I prefer the whole fat to the fat free, as the fat free replaces the fat with starches.
It's delicious--better than a whey shake, and it was easy on my poor stomach.
Today, then, I re-attempted the big W6D3 run: 5min walk, 25min run, 5min walk.
More than halfway through, I was feeling GREAT! I kept going and finished strong! I was so proud of myself. I then stretched, showered, and ate.
DANG.
25 minutes?!?! I don't think I've ever run that long in my entire life. I still have no idea if runner's high is real--or if I'm just very proud of myself, but I feel SO good.
Week 7 is that same run (w5, r25, w5) three times (eep!).
Week 8 is the same, but 28 instead of 25.
Week 9 is 30. I can do this. I am strong.
Also, I weigh around 175 now (according to my gym scale). Woo!
Considering the chicken I had stomached earlier, a few cherries, and some nibblets here and there when I could manage them, I had eaten maybe 600 calories for the day. As my appetite increased (at 9:30pm), I was ravenous, but not sure what I wanted. A spoonful of almond butter, a slice of cheese, and a few mouthfulls of my "superproteinyogurt" later and I headed to bed feeling DAMN good considering the crappy day I had had.
What is this superproteinyogurt, you ask? It's a scoopful of whey protein (the brand is Optimum Nutrition, the flavor is strawberry) into about 1/2c whole fat greek yogurt. I prefer the whole fat to the fat free, as the fat free replaces the fat with starches.
It's delicious--better than a whey shake, and it was easy on my poor stomach.
Today, then, I re-attempted the big W6D3 run: 5min walk, 25min run, 5min walk.
More than halfway through, I was feeling GREAT! I kept going and finished strong! I was so proud of myself. I then stretched, showered, and ate.
DANG.
25 minutes?!?! I don't think I've ever run that long in my entire life. I still have no idea if runner's high is real--or if I'm just very proud of myself, but I feel SO good.
Week 7 is that same run (w5, r25, w5) three times (eep!).
Week 8 is the same, but 28 instead of 25.
Week 9 is 30. I can do this. I am strong.
Also, I weigh around 175 now (according to my gym scale). Woo!
Tuesday, July 03, 2012
Wellp, that was terrible.
SO...I went to the gym to run.
My last run was W6D2 of C25k, so 5min warmup, 10m run, 3m walk, 10m run, 5min walk. That was SO tough for me to get through, despite the fact that the previous run was walk5, run20, walk5 (which I successfully have done 3 m-effing times!).
Yesterday was supposed to be walk5, run25, walk5. Nerp.
I got to the first 6 minutes of running and wanted to die. I just repeated W6D2, but I only got through four minutes of the second 10m run.
I failed a run. That's a pretty bad feeling.
I figured, I STILL wasn't nourished enough. I decided to eat a hearty meal afterwards of paleo-ed chipotle and a microwaved sweet potato (as well as a handful of cherries).
Holy Crap. And Wholly Crap. IN CAPS.
I felt emotionally and physically drained by my "effort," but determined to try it again either today or tomorrow. This morning, when I woke up to go pee, I found that my trip to the bathroom was...strange. I spent the whole time listing to the side like a drunk person. There and back. I figured, I'd lay down on the opposite side for a while to...even things out? No success. I still stumbled around like a drunkie. A trip to the doctor's (and a stressful encounter with "you don't have health insurance" "YES I DO" "no you don't" "YES-HUH!" "oh, right, well fill out these six retroactive forms and we'll promise the insurance company that you are insured" "FINE"), a round of vomiting, spinning rooms, stumbly walks, and pokes/prods got me a diagnosis with BPPV (benign paroxysmal positional vertigo). I have some head movement exercises to do and some time to wait to see if it persists longer than a week (!).
Doctor: I see here that you've lost more than 20lbs since we last saw you in January.
Me: Yup.
Doctor: Did you do that on purpose?
Me: (INTERNAL SWEARING) Yes.
Doctor: How?
Me: Hard work and a modified diet.
Doctor: What kind of diet?
Me: Paleo. (cringing, thinking I'd hear a lecture about saturated fats and whatnot)
Doctor: Great! With your PCOS, that's a great diet.
Me: What about exercise with these spins?
Doctor: Erm...as tolerated. What exercise do you do?
Me: Running and weightlifting
Doctor: Machines or freeweights?
Me: Free only. Barbell lifts. (I described what I do)
Doctor: That is great...but make sure you have a spotter with the weights. You might take a nose dive in the gym if you get too wobbly. And I wouldn't want you on a treadmill at all in case things go bad. Better run on a track or the roads for now.
FUCK YOU BPPV!!!
My last run was W6D2 of C25k, so 5min warmup, 10m run, 3m walk, 10m run, 5min walk. That was SO tough for me to get through, despite the fact that the previous run was walk5, run20, walk5 (which I successfully have done 3 m-effing times!).
Yesterday was supposed to be walk5, run25, walk5. Nerp.
I got to the first 6 minutes of running and wanted to die. I just repeated W6D2, but I only got through four minutes of the second 10m run.
I failed a run. That's a pretty bad feeling.
I figured, I STILL wasn't nourished enough. I decided to eat a hearty meal afterwards of paleo-ed chipotle and a microwaved sweet potato (as well as a handful of cherries).
Holy Crap. And Wholly Crap. IN CAPS.
I felt emotionally and physically drained by my "effort," but determined to try it again either today or tomorrow. This morning, when I woke up to go pee, I found that my trip to the bathroom was...strange. I spent the whole time listing to the side like a drunk person. There and back. I figured, I'd lay down on the opposite side for a while to...even things out? No success. I still stumbled around like a drunkie. A trip to the doctor's (and a stressful encounter with "you don't have health insurance" "YES I DO" "no you don't" "YES-HUH!" "oh, right, well fill out these six retroactive forms and we'll promise the insurance company that you are insured" "FINE"), a round of vomiting, spinning rooms, stumbly walks, and pokes/prods got me a diagnosis with BPPV (benign paroxysmal positional vertigo). I have some head movement exercises to do and some time to wait to see if it persists longer than a week (!).
Doctor: I see here that you've lost more than 20lbs since we last saw you in January.
Me: Yup.
Doctor: Did you do that on purpose?
Me: (INTERNAL SWEARING) Yes.
Doctor: How?
Me: Hard work and a modified diet.
Doctor: What kind of diet?
Me: Paleo. (cringing, thinking I'd hear a lecture about saturated fats and whatnot)
Doctor: Great! With your PCOS, that's a great diet.
Me: What about exercise with these spins?
Doctor: Erm...as tolerated. What exercise do you do?
Me: Running and weightlifting
Doctor: Machines or freeweights?
Me: Free only. Barbell lifts. (I described what I do)
Doctor: That is great...but make sure you have a spotter with the weights. You might take a nose dive in the gym if you get too wobbly. And I wouldn't want you on a treadmill at all in case things go bad. Better run on a track or the roads for now.
FUCK YOU BPPV!!!
Monday, July 02, 2012
Weightlifting and C25k
So! Sunday, I went weightlifting. It was squat/bench/deadlift day.
I completed my daily goal of 105lbs squat, shorted myself on 70lbs bench (and barely finished it). I warmed up for deadlift and did the 80lbs deadlift. A little feeling I had kept surfacing--80lbs was too easy. Time to bump it up. 100lbs. I did it. It was hard. Typically at the end of my squat/bench sets, I rack the bar thinking "blarrgghhhhhh," and at the end of most of my DL sets, I just am done. No sense of serious accomplishment.
NOT THIS TIME, BITCHES. 100lbs and I was EXHAUSTED. I was breathing hard and needed a minute to gather myself after. Woo!!
On Friday, I had thought to continue my C25k. Here's what week 5 SHOULD have looked like (all days begin and end with a 5 minute brisk warmup/cooldown walk):
Day 1: Run 5, walk 3, run 5, walk 3, run 5.
Day 2: Run 8, walk 5, run 8.
Day 3: Run 20.
But what I did instead was:
Day 1: Run 8, walk 5, run 8.
Day 2: Run 20.
Day 3: Run 20.
And for week 6, the "should do" plan is:
Day 1: Run 5, walk 3, run 8, walk 3, run 5.
Day 2: Run 10, walk 3, run 10.
For day 1, I just ran 20. For day 2, I THOUGHT I'd try to impress myself and do the Day 3 workout, which is "run 25." However, by 7 minutes into the first run, I thought I was DYING. I barely made it through the planned workout for Day 2, despite my efforts to talk myself into running just 20, as I had done 3 times successfully before then. I stressed out a lot about this. Then, I remembered what I had eaten the previous night and earlier that day--basically NOTHING. I hadn't felt particularly hungry. Also, I know if I eat before I run, I'll feel it bouncing around in my belly and that's just awful.
Running with essential zero nutrients to fuel me is a terrible plan.
Today, I intend to try the Day 3 workout, Run 25. Well fueled and pumped.
I completed my daily goal of 105lbs squat, shorted myself on 70lbs bench (and barely finished it). I warmed up for deadlift and did the 80lbs deadlift. A little feeling I had kept surfacing--80lbs was too easy. Time to bump it up. 100lbs. I did it. It was hard. Typically at the end of my squat/bench sets, I rack the bar thinking "blarrgghhhhhh," and at the end of most of my DL sets, I just am done. No sense of serious accomplishment.
NOT THIS TIME, BITCHES. 100lbs and I was EXHAUSTED. I was breathing hard and needed a minute to gather myself after. Woo!!
On Friday, I had thought to continue my C25k. Here's what week 5 SHOULD have looked like (all days begin and end with a 5 minute brisk warmup/cooldown walk):
Day 1: Run 5, walk 3, run 5, walk 3, run 5.
Day 2: Run 8, walk 5, run 8.
Day 3: Run 20.
But what I did instead was:
Day 1: Run 8, walk 5, run 8.
Day 2: Run 20.
Day 3: Run 20.
And for week 6, the "should do" plan is:
Day 1: Run 5, walk 3, run 8, walk 3, run 5.
Day 2: Run 10, walk 3, run 10.
For day 1, I just ran 20. For day 2, I THOUGHT I'd try to impress myself and do the Day 3 workout, which is "run 25." However, by 7 minutes into the first run, I thought I was DYING. I barely made it through the planned workout for Day 2, despite my efforts to talk myself into running just 20, as I had done 3 times successfully before then. I stressed out a lot about this. Then, I remembered what I had eaten the previous night and earlier that day--basically NOTHING. I hadn't felt particularly hungry. Also, I know if I eat before I run, I'll feel it bouncing around in my belly and that's just awful.
Running with essential zero nutrients to fuel me is a terrible plan.
Today, I intend to try the Day 3 workout, Run 25. Well fueled and pumped.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Current Fitness Goals
My weightlifting has tapered off. I took too much time off of lifting, and returning to it made me REALLY sore for several days. I couldn't even run for about 3 days. It was like starting over again. So I didn't lift again for 2 weeks! Then I got back in the gym, and the same thing happened. I decided to NOT let myself take that much time off, because when I got back in there to do my press, power clean, and squats (Day B workout. Day A is squat, bench, deadlift), I had to drop back down to 45lbs (from 65lbs) for the press!
I've been reading up on CrossFit. Their workouts are intimidating, amazing, and look REALLY fun. They have lots of alternatives to their exercises if your fitness level isn't up to doing their workouts, but I want to continue I've decided the following will be my new HARD fitness goals:
Complete C25k, transition to 10k. (I'm currently in Week 6, next run is W6D3, 25min run!)
Increase my bench to 130lbs (Currently at 70lbs)
Increase my squat to 200lbs (Currently at 105)
Increase my deadlift to 250lbs (Currently at 80lbs)
Be able to do 5 pull-ups (dead-hang)
Be able to do 5 dips (body weight!)
Note on my deadlift: It is commonly taught that if you can squat more than you deadlift, you aren't squatting deeply enough. I actually can probably deadlift a lot more than that, but I've been very concerned about my form, so as recommended by a lifting coach, I started out very conservatively with DL and will progress once I am confident in my form.
The biggest goals for me are the pull-ups and dips. I feel like only REALLY fit people are able to do pull-ups/dips. I have never, in my adult life, done a pull up without weight assistance. Same goes for dips. I want to be a person that can do that.
I've been reading up on CrossFit. Their workouts are intimidating, amazing, and look REALLY fun. They have lots of alternatives to their exercises if your fitness level isn't up to doing their workouts, but I want to continue I've decided the following will be my new HARD fitness goals:
Complete C25k, transition to 10k. (I'm currently in Week 6, next run is W6D3, 25min run!)
Increase my bench to 130lbs (Currently at 70lbs)
Increase my squat to 200lbs (Currently at 105)
Increase my deadlift to 250lbs (Currently at 80lbs)
Be able to do 5 pull-ups (dead-hang)
Be able to do 5 dips (body weight!)
Note on my deadlift: It is commonly taught that if you can squat more than you deadlift, you aren't squatting deeply enough. I actually can probably deadlift a lot more than that, but I've been very concerned about my form, so as recommended by a lifting coach, I started out very conservatively with DL and will progress once I am confident in my form.
The biggest goals for me are the pull-ups and dips. I feel like only REALLY fit people are able to do pull-ups/dips. I have never, in my adult life, done a pull up without weight assistance. Same goes for dips. I want to be a person that can do that.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
A new weight loss tool. Do I love it?
So in early May, I came across a Groupon for a one month enrollment in "Biovive Medical Weight Loss." This included 4 weeks of nutrition counseling, supplements, appetite suppressants (if necessary), and the final most important tool--access to their fancy scale.
Their nutrition plan is rather paleo-friendly. It is a complete elimination of starchy carbs (already doing that), but it discourages most fats (fatty meats, avocados, olives, fat-free dairy, etc), and tons of veggies (already doing that, too). They informed me of portions, and allotted me a certain portion value of protein (10 boxes to tick off, each portion should not exceed Xg of fat or carbs, etc.), and carbs (4 boxes, net carbs should not exceed X value per portion). I get a dairy box as well as a few other boxes to tick off which help you remember to drink 125oz water a day, take a multivitamin, calcium supplement, and an excercise box.
I passed on the appetite suppressants, which I'm glad to have done. I feel like it's a crutch that I don't want to rely on. So, if you keep your portions at their recommended sizes, tick off all your boxes for food allotment, this is a roughly 1000-1200 calorie/day plan. Based on my paleo choices, I eat roughly 1400-1600 calories/day.
I still work out a heckuva lot more than I think the Biovive people expect their patients to do. I'm up to running for 20 minutes straight in my C25K program. I'm improving my lifts steadily (although I took a hiatus from lifting for a bit due to some muscle strain). They ask their clients to squeak in 3-4 20-30 minute sessions of light-to-moderate intesity exercise a week. This includes brisk walking, light weight lifting, and house cleaning or someshit.
Puh-LEEZE. Thier goal here is to not over-exert people on such a low calorie plan. Too much exertion makes the body break down muscle for energy. Muscle is a quicker access to energy when broken down than fat. Fat is VERY energy-dense, but it takes longer to break down for energy. Thus, when the body is over-exerted and starved, muscle comes first.
So...I don't want to drop my exercise. I love it, and I love keeping it as a habitual part of my life. I don't want to slack off of on C25K until the weight comes off, which is what they'd want me to do. They re-incorporate heavier exercise after the "weight loss phase" is over. In general, I think that's smart, but not quite for me.
I hate to sound like an "I-know-better-than-you" bitch, but I tweaked their "tried and tested" plan (which is obviously actually not a bad one, just not QUITE what I want to do). I follow their daily allotments generally--but I incorporate more fat, as per my paleo regimen. The carb boxes aren't hard to stick to, even with all the vegetables I eat. The Biovive guide has a few "zero box" foods which, when eaten in appropriate portions do not count as boxes (kale, broccoli, things with lots of fiber like celery, etc.). However, on days when I work out hard, I give myself an extra box or two on "Protein" which I tend to cound as "Protein and Fat."
This week, while watching my weight on the gym scale hover around 176-178 (and even up to 180 for a day), I wasn't too concerned--with a single exception.
I knew that on Wednesday, June 27 at 8:30am, I would be weighing in at Biovive and talking with a nutrition counselor to see how I was doing.
Now it's time to discuss their scale. They use an InBody (520, I think?) bioimpedance scale. It measures your weight (I weighed in with them on my first day, clothed, at 181.2lbs), and body fat percentage. It reports actual muscle mass for the right and left arms and legs, and for the trunk. It also measures body water content and calculates the ration of ECW (extracellular water) to ICF (intracellular water). It's really very cool and supposed be the most accurate bioimpedance method (and very nearly reflects the numbers for water submersion tests).
So my weigh-in. 181.2lbs. Not so scary. My body fat percentage was really high. Alarmingly high. It was 43.7%. I had 79.2lbs of fat on me.
But! this meant I had 102lbs of muscle. According to the "target values" for my height and age, I was in the tippy top percentiles of "normal" for trunk and legs and I was just a pip above "over" for my arms. OVER?!? I thought my arms were the weakest thing about me. Maybe they are, but I'm still stronger than the average lady. WOO!!!! Also, with my musclitude, this put my basal metabolic rate at 1369cal/day (this is the calories my body would burn on a totally sedentary day).
So when I saw that, I decided I didn't mind if my weight increased or stayed the same, so long as my fat pounds went down and my muscle pounds went up up up!!!
So, what I was worried about this week was:
a) What if I gained fat?!?! Oh lawd, that would be terrible.
b) Even worse, what if I lost muscle?!?
c) What sort of talking to would I get if I either gained weight or didn't lose any weight?
I weighed in at 181. My body fat% was 41.7. TWO PERCENT DIFFERENCE! I lost 3.7lbs of fat and have 75.5lbs. I gained 3.5lbs of muscle!! IN A WEEK!!!! 105.5lbs, baby. ALL of my body categories (trunk, legs, arms) are now in the "over" percentile of muscle. I also have increased my hydration levels and increased my BMR to 1404 calories/day. And I didn't get a talking to! The lady was HAPPY for me and told me to keep it up. She said that it's really frequent for people like me to see a weight loss stall and even some gains, but that eventually, the BMR catches up and the fat just comes right off.
SO! What does all this mean? Well, sometimes, when you are doing all the right things (eating well, exercising) and don't see the scale moving, when you can't tell for sure if those jeans feel tighter or if they're just loosened from wear, it's hard to convince yourself that the non-scale victories are really worth your hard work--this magical $7000 scale QUANTIFIES it. I'm still secretely worried that it's a bit hoax-y, but seeing those numbers today really made me feel good. I still have two weeks of Biovive left. Their client subscription seems pretty steep, but I'm secretly debating if it's worth it to stay with them, if ONLY for that scale.
We shall see, but it's a good god-damn day.
Their nutrition plan is rather paleo-friendly. It is a complete elimination of starchy carbs (already doing that), but it discourages most fats (fatty meats, avocados, olives, fat-free dairy, etc), and tons of veggies (already doing that, too). They informed me of portions, and allotted me a certain portion value of protein (10 boxes to tick off, each portion should not exceed Xg of fat or carbs, etc.), and carbs (4 boxes, net carbs should not exceed X value per portion). I get a dairy box as well as a few other boxes to tick off which help you remember to drink 125oz water a day, take a multivitamin, calcium supplement, and an excercise box.
I passed on the appetite suppressants, which I'm glad to have done. I feel like it's a crutch that I don't want to rely on. So, if you keep your portions at their recommended sizes, tick off all your boxes for food allotment, this is a roughly 1000-1200 calorie/day plan. Based on my paleo choices, I eat roughly 1400-1600 calories/day.
I still work out a heckuva lot more than I think the Biovive people expect their patients to do. I'm up to running for 20 minutes straight in my C25K program. I'm improving my lifts steadily (although I took a hiatus from lifting for a bit due to some muscle strain). They ask their clients to squeak in 3-4 20-30 minute sessions of light-to-moderate intesity exercise a week. This includes brisk walking, light weight lifting, and house cleaning or someshit.
Puh-LEEZE. Thier goal here is to not over-exert people on such a low calorie plan. Too much exertion makes the body break down muscle for energy. Muscle is a quicker access to energy when broken down than fat. Fat is VERY energy-dense, but it takes longer to break down for energy. Thus, when the body is over-exerted and starved, muscle comes first.
So...I don't want to drop my exercise. I love it, and I love keeping it as a habitual part of my life. I don't want to slack off of on C25K until the weight comes off, which is what they'd want me to do. They re-incorporate heavier exercise after the "weight loss phase" is over. In general, I think that's smart, but not quite for me.
I hate to sound like an "I-know-better-than-you" bitch, but I tweaked their "tried and tested" plan (which is obviously actually not a bad one, just not QUITE what I want to do). I follow their daily allotments generally--but I incorporate more fat, as per my paleo regimen. The carb boxes aren't hard to stick to, even with all the vegetables I eat. The Biovive guide has a few "zero box" foods which, when eaten in appropriate portions do not count as boxes (kale, broccoli, things with lots of fiber like celery, etc.). However, on days when I work out hard, I give myself an extra box or two on "Protein" which I tend to cound as "Protein and Fat."
This week, while watching my weight on the gym scale hover around 176-178 (and even up to 180 for a day), I wasn't too concerned--with a single exception.
I knew that on Wednesday, June 27 at 8:30am, I would be weighing in at Biovive and talking with a nutrition counselor to see how I was doing.
Now it's time to discuss their scale. They use an InBody (520, I think?) bioimpedance scale. It measures your weight (I weighed in with them on my first day, clothed, at 181.2lbs), and body fat percentage. It reports actual muscle mass for the right and left arms and legs, and for the trunk. It also measures body water content and calculates the ration of ECW (extracellular water) to ICF (intracellular water). It's really very cool and supposed be the most accurate bioimpedance method (and very nearly reflects the numbers for water submersion tests).
So my weigh-in. 181.2lbs. Not so scary. My body fat percentage was really high. Alarmingly high. It was 43.7%. I had 79.2lbs of fat on me.
But! this meant I had 102lbs of muscle. According to the "target values" for my height and age, I was in the tippy top percentiles of "normal" for trunk and legs and I was just a pip above "over" for my arms. OVER?!? I thought my arms were the weakest thing about me. Maybe they are, but I'm still stronger than the average lady. WOO!!!! Also, with my musclitude, this put my basal metabolic rate at 1369cal/day (this is the calories my body would burn on a totally sedentary day).
So when I saw that, I decided I didn't mind if my weight increased or stayed the same, so long as my fat pounds went down and my muscle pounds went up up up!!!
So, what I was worried about this week was:
a) What if I gained fat?!?! Oh lawd, that would be terrible.
b) Even worse, what if I lost muscle?!?
c) What sort of talking to would I get if I either gained weight or didn't lose any weight?
I weighed in at 181. My body fat% was 41.7. TWO PERCENT DIFFERENCE! I lost 3.7lbs of fat and have 75.5lbs. I gained 3.5lbs of muscle!! IN A WEEK!!!! 105.5lbs, baby. ALL of my body categories (trunk, legs, arms) are now in the "over" percentile of muscle. I also have increased my hydration levels and increased my BMR to 1404 calories/day. And I didn't get a talking to! The lady was HAPPY for me and told me to keep it up. She said that it's really frequent for people like me to see a weight loss stall and even some gains, but that eventually, the BMR catches up and the fat just comes right off.
SO! What does all this mean? Well, sometimes, when you are doing all the right things (eating well, exercising) and don't see the scale moving, when you can't tell for sure if those jeans feel tighter or if they're just loosened from wear, it's hard to convince yourself that the non-scale victories are really worth your hard work--this magical $7000 scale QUANTIFIES it. I'm still secretely worried that it's a bit hoax-y, but seeing those numbers today really made me feel good. I still have two weeks of Biovive left. Their client subscription seems pretty steep, but I'm secretly debating if it's worth it to stay with them, if ONLY for that scale.
We shall see, but it's a good god-damn day.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Still going. 178.5lbs
Last time I had a disappearance from my blog, I abandoned weight loss, gained thirty pounds, and fell into a delightful bout of self pity.
Never fear. This time, it's just an incredibly busy/stressful schedule. I am still eating like I should and exercising. However, I decided to reassess my workout routine because I was starting to get fatigued really easily--even walking up stairs made me feel weary.
I dropped off of the weight-lifting for a bit and continued with the couch to 5k. I have completed week 4 and will begin week 5 today or tomorrow. Today, I started back up on Starting Strength (my weight-lifting regimen). I was still pretty strong in deadlift and squat, but I slowed considerably on bench.
Measuring my inches, I'm slowly going down, and in general, my arms, stomach, and thighs are getting smaller and smoothing out.
In other news, I don't know how else to say so--I'm happy. I still feel head over heels smitten with my fella. I enjoy his support with the new food-outlook as well as with the workouts. I'm stressed at work, but making steady progress. I've seen fun movies, tv shows, played fun video games, and listened to spectacular audiobooks.
Life is..fun!
Never fear. This time, it's just an incredibly busy/stressful schedule. I am still eating like I should and exercising. However, I decided to reassess my workout routine because I was starting to get fatigued really easily--even walking up stairs made me feel weary.
I dropped off of the weight-lifting for a bit and continued with the couch to 5k. I have completed week 4 and will begin week 5 today or tomorrow. Today, I started back up on Starting Strength (my weight-lifting regimen). I was still pretty strong in deadlift and squat, but I slowed considerably on bench.
Measuring my inches, I'm slowly going down, and in general, my arms, stomach, and thighs are getting smaller and smoothing out.
In other news, I don't know how else to say so--I'm happy. I still feel head over heels smitten with my fella. I enjoy his support with the new food-outlook as well as with the workouts. I'm stressed at work, but making steady progress. I've seen fun movies, tv shows, played fun video games, and listened to spectacular audiobooks.
Life is..fun!
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
181lbs, and I TRULY don't mind.
I feared this moment. Now that it's here---it's not so bad at all. I'm wondering if I should think about counting calories, but my heart just isn't in that. I have, however, become re-invigorated with the C25k program. I never got off of it, but I did take two extra days off before starting W4D1. All previous runs have had a maximum of 9 total minutes of running time. This one had 16, with two 5m runs in there. I was intimidated, but I tried it with Boots on Saturday. I felt terrible, because I think I overheated him. He tried to lie down in the shade halfway through the second 3m run. I walked back to my car and called it a day.
I was worried that this would put me off of the program. My first failed/unfinished run. I have stuck to the program TO THE LETTER in terms of minutes run/walked. (I have, however, occasionally taken an extra day off here and there, but I am only currently just under a week behind schedule). Apparently, a lot of people drop off the program in weeks 4 and 5. The running time jumps significantly in week 4 and there is a 20m run in week 5.
But on Monday, I hit the treadmill and finished W4D1 easily and very well. Later that day, I did a bunch of crunches.
I'm feeling a bit guilty about slacking on Starting Strength. I'm really close to 100lbs squat (next session will either be 85 or 90, 80 deadlift, 75 bench). I do feel like I'm approaching weights where I really do need a spotter.
On Monday, I weighed in at 181lbs. 10 days ago, I weighed in at 179.5lbs. I was excited to be below 180, but I actually didn't expect it to stick quite yet. I'm right on that cusp, but I don't care about breaking through it as much as I did last time I was roughly in this position. We'll see what happens in June! Good things, I think!
I was worried that this would put me off of the program. My first failed/unfinished run. I have stuck to the program TO THE LETTER in terms of minutes run/walked. (I have, however, occasionally taken an extra day off here and there, but I am only currently just under a week behind schedule). Apparently, a lot of people drop off the program in weeks 4 and 5. The running time jumps significantly in week 4 and there is a 20m run in week 5.
But on Monday, I hit the treadmill and finished W4D1 easily and very well. Later that day, I did a bunch of crunches.
I'm feeling a bit guilty about slacking on Starting Strength. I'm really close to 100lbs squat (next session will either be 85 or 90, 80 deadlift, 75 bench). I do feel like I'm approaching weights where I really do need a spotter.
On Monday, I weighed in at 181lbs. 10 days ago, I weighed in at 179.5lbs. I was excited to be below 180, but I actually didn't expect it to stick quite yet. I'm right on that cusp, but I don't care about breaking through it as much as I did last time I was roughly in this position. We'll see what happens in June! Good things, I think!
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
I want to look good naked.
This is the best goal I can think of. Maybe a less narcissistic goal would be to be "healthy;" and I've mentioned that I do indeed want to be strong.
(Un)Fortunately for me, I have a partner who finds me physically attractive at this weight (and did at my heavier weights, too). This is encouraging for my self-esteem, but not as much so for my long term goals. However, anyone that knows me will affirm that while my partner's affection for me is valuable, it in no means governs my actions.
"Good enough" isn't good enough.
So why is this even worth mentioning? Well, it has to do with potential weight-loss stalls. I haven't really encountered it yet, but I'm sure it will come. In the past, once the actual weight loss got harder (that is, the numbers weren't going down), I felt like I had to ramp up the difficulty of my workouts to break through it. That and the constant micromanagement of my calories just burned out any interest I had to sticking to it. I was so frustrated because I wasn't seeing the scale change. Sure the inches were sort of going down, but other than that, I didn't feel DIFFERENT. I still felt squishy. I exhausted myself in the gym and ate less than X calories. WHY OH WHY DO YOU MOCK ME, SCALE?!?
I know I'm not alone in this sentiment. I've seen endless posts and talked to several friends who bore the same frustration. There's always some sort of "chin-up" addendum (I did/do it, too)--that says something like: "It must be water weight/muscle" or "I'll take this week as a challenge to meet X goals this week" or "That's okay because I know I'm getting stronger in ______."
I know that if I step on a scale today/tomorrow/whenever and see a number in the 180s, I'll probably go through it, too.
What I've been trying to do since April is to not fixate on the weight of my body and the main measure of my progress. I've been re-calibrating my brain to accept that weighing less is not as important to me as having my body look the way I want it to look. There's a woman in the gym I go to. She probably fits into the "overweight" category of the BMI scale. She has a strong, beautiful physique. She is VERY feminine-looking. She can move a LOT of iron. She has enough body fat on her that her muscles look sleek, but not cut. I want her body. I want to look like her.
Kinda reminds me of Staci's story.
So I'm trying to mentally force myself to think of what my actual GOALS are. Then I have to re-think what the best way to measure them will be. Everyone who wants to "lose weight" (I'm still one of them, really), fears/loathes/and judges their progress by....the scale. I still do.
I think what I want to do is strike the phrase/thought "I'm trying to lose weight." completely from my mind. Then what am I trying to do? I'm trying to make my body athletic. That just doesn't have the right ring to it, does it? "I'm trying to look good naked" has the right kind of humor/tone, but still, it's not right.
On Monday, I went in for my weight-lifting session. It was at the end of my work day (I usually go at lunch) and I felt--not up to it. I mentally toughed it out, almost didn't finish my set of presses (at 55lbs) and didn't do the target weight on power clean (55lbs) and instead struggled through finishing at 50 lbs. It's not fun to struggle, but what was a refreshing thought was that last time I struggled like that (squat--55lbs), I came back from my rest day and blazed through my difficult weight and moved on to a heavier weight with not a lot of problems. Despite that, I did feel a little defeated.
DO YOU SEE THE THEME HERE? Scale doesn't go down, feel defeated, semi-convince yourself it's okay with a lame pep talk. Struggle with weight lifting, feel defeated, semi-convince yourself it's okay with a lame pep talk.
Feeling defeated, no matter what your goals are, seems to be a common factor in giving up. Improvement is what might be key. Because of the Starting Strength and Couch to 5K programs, I KNOW that week to week and day to day, my performace improves. That feels good.
But I'm secretly still fearing when I'll see a scale plateau/increase. I'm still afraid that I'll encounter something that will lead me to give up this time. That's what I suppose this post is REALLY about. What do I need to do NOW (and later) to be sure I won't give up? I hope I find the answer.
(Un)Fortunately for me, I have a partner who finds me physically attractive at this weight (and did at my heavier weights, too). This is encouraging for my self-esteem, but not as much so for my long term goals. However, anyone that knows me will affirm that while my partner's affection for me is valuable, it in no means governs my actions.
"Good enough" isn't good enough.
So why is this even worth mentioning? Well, it has to do with potential weight-loss stalls. I haven't really encountered it yet, but I'm sure it will come. In the past, once the actual weight loss got harder (that is, the numbers weren't going down), I felt like I had to ramp up the difficulty of my workouts to break through it. That and the constant micromanagement of my calories just burned out any interest I had to sticking to it. I was so frustrated because I wasn't seeing the scale change. Sure the inches were sort of going down, but other than that, I didn't feel DIFFERENT. I still felt squishy. I exhausted myself in the gym and ate less than X calories. WHY OH WHY DO YOU MOCK ME, SCALE?!?
I know I'm not alone in this sentiment. I've seen endless posts and talked to several friends who bore the same frustration. There's always some sort of "chin-up" addendum (I did/do it, too)--that says something like: "It must be water weight/muscle" or "I'll take this week as a challenge to meet X goals this week" or "That's okay because I know I'm getting stronger in ______."
I know that if I step on a scale today/tomorrow/whenever and see a number in the 180s, I'll probably go through it, too.
What I've been trying to do since April is to not fixate on the weight of my body and the main measure of my progress. I've been re-calibrating my brain to accept that weighing less is not as important to me as having my body look the way I want it to look. There's a woman in the gym I go to. She probably fits into the "overweight" category of the BMI scale. She has a strong, beautiful physique. She is VERY feminine-looking. She can move a LOT of iron. She has enough body fat on her that her muscles look sleek, but not cut. I want her body. I want to look like her.
Kinda reminds me of Staci's story.
So I'm trying to mentally force myself to think of what my actual GOALS are. Then I have to re-think what the best way to measure them will be. Everyone who wants to "lose weight" (I'm still one of them, really), fears/loathes/and judges their progress by....the scale. I still do.
I think what I want to do is strike the phrase/thought "I'm trying to lose weight." completely from my mind. Then what am I trying to do? I'm trying to make my body athletic. That just doesn't have the right ring to it, does it? "I'm trying to look good naked" has the right kind of humor/tone, but still, it's not right.
On Monday, I went in for my weight-lifting session. It was at the end of my work day (I usually go at lunch) and I felt--not up to it. I mentally toughed it out, almost didn't finish my set of presses (at 55lbs) and didn't do the target weight on power clean (55lbs) and instead struggled through finishing at 50 lbs. It's not fun to struggle, but what was a refreshing thought was that last time I struggled like that (squat--55lbs), I came back from my rest day and blazed through my difficult weight and moved on to a heavier weight with not a lot of problems. Despite that, I did feel a little defeated.
DO YOU SEE THE THEME HERE? Scale doesn't go down, feel defeated, semi-convince yourself it's okay with a lame pep talk. Struggle with weight lifting, feel defeated, semi-convince yourself it's okay with a lame pep talk.
Feeling defeated, no matter what your goals are, seems to be a common factor in giving up. Improvement is what might be key. Because of the Starting Strength and Couch to 5K programs, I KNOW that week to week and day to day, my performace improves. That feels good.
But I'm secretly still fearing when I'll see a scale plateau/increase. I'm still afraid that I'll encounter something that will lead me to give up this time. That's what I suppose this post is REALLY about. What do I need to do NOW (and later) to be sure I won't give up? I hope I find the answer.
Friday, May 18, 2012
179.75lbs and Thoughts on Free Weights
I weighted in at 179.75 today! Woo! I'm down 8 lbs since April 30. 2012!
Current weightlifting numbers:
Squat 80lbs (started at 45, could barely do 55)
Bench press 70lbs (started at 55)
Deadlift 80lbs (started at 60)
Press 50lbs (started at 40)
Power Clean 50lbs (started at 40lbs)
Like I mentioned before, I'm following the "Starting Strength" plan. It's really fun and focused on building/developing the most important muscles. Several beginner workouts I've looked at try to teach you to do muscle groups (back and triceps, chest and biceps, legs, abs and shoulders, for example). At the front, I thought that would be a good approach since it seemed to cover all the bases.
I don't necessarily think it's a bad approach, but I didn't like it when I tried it. I liked the actual lifting, but there was something about how it felt...I didn't feel like doing biceps curls contributed to my overall health, you know? I didn't get the notion that calf raises or leg extensions would make me more able to carry a load of groceries up the stairs.
It felt like I was specializing before I had gotten the basics down.
For people who are already strong, and people who want to bulk up certain areas of their body, that may be a good approach, strengthening and toning individual muscle groups.
And it may be a good approach for beginners, too--but for me, I wanted to feel WHOLLY strong, as I have mentioned before. So why not free weights, then? They are really whole body exercises when you do it right. Well, was too intimidated to approach the free weight racks area of the gym.
*record scratch*
INTIMIDATED?!
Fuck me, intimidated?!
Let me let you in on a little bit of history. When I was in high school, I was an enthusiastic member of the powerlifting team. I absolutely loved that damned weight room (paltry as it was given our small school finances). I remember being so comfortable in the high school weight room with all the grunting sweaty boys. I remember them really incorporating me into the fold and cheering me on when I was trying my heaviest yet squat. Even if I was lifting 150lbs less than them, they were just as excited for me to hit MY goals as they were for their own. We had one or two "machines" (leg curl/leg extension, I think), but all the rest was free weight racks.
As soon as I identified my intimidated feelings, I decided to meet them head. fucking. on. Bah. Intimidated. Fuck that.
I'm feisty, but I'm not stupid. I did my research first so I wouldn't hurt myself. I know what it feels like when I will need a spotter if I add 10 more lbs. So here I am, with what might be regarded as "pitiful" numbers for all of my lifts.
I admit, I gave a thought to how stupid it might look with a squat bar on my back and teeny little 2.5lb weights on each side when I was trying 50lbs. Maybe it did look stupid. But I did it. A big, friendly, beefy guy came over after a tough bench set and asked if I'd want a spotter for my next set. I might feel embarrassed that he noticed my prior struggle, but really, he WANTED me to succeed. He wasn't making fun of me for being weak. I saw him benching what must have been 200lbs, but he was enthusiastic to help me with my 65-er. Maybe I did look weak to him, but I'll bet he paid more attention to the fact that I'm actively trying to be stronger than how weak I am.
I've got potential to be powerful, damnit. I'm making my way there.
Current weightlifting numbers:
Squat 80lbs (started at 45, could barely do 55)
Bench press 70lbs (started at 55)
Deadlift 80lbs (started at 60)
Press 50lbs (started at 40)
Power Clean 50lbs (started at 40lbs)
Like I mentioned before, I'm following the "Starting Strength" plan. It's really fun and focused on building/developing the most important muscles. Several beginner workouts I've looked at try to teach you to do muscle groups (back and triceps, chest and biceps, legs, abs and shoulders, for example). At the front, I thought that would be a good approach since it seemed to cover all the bases.
I don't necessarily think it's a bad approach, but I didn't like it when I tried it. I liked the actual lifting, but there was something about how it felt...I didn't feel like doing biceps curls contributed to my overall health, you know? I didn't get the notion that calf raises or leg extensions would make me more able to carry a load of groceries up the stairs.
It felt like I was specializing before I had gotten the basics down.
For people who are already strong, and people who want to bulk up certain areas of their body, that may be a good approach, strengthening and toning individual muscle groups.
And it may be a good approach for beginners, too--but for me, I wanted to feel WHOLLY strong, as I have mentioned before. So why not free weights, then? They are really whole body exercises when you do it right. Well, was too intimidated to approach the free weight racks area of the gym.
*record scratch*
INTIMIDATED?!
Fuck me, intimidated?!
Let me let you in on a little bit of history. When I was in high school, I was an enthusiastic member of the powerlifting team. I absolutely loved that damned weight room (paltry as it was given our small school finances). I remember being so comfortable in the high school weight room with all the grunting sweaty boys. I remember them really incorporating me into the fold and cheering me on when I was trying my heaviest yet squat. Even if I was lifting 150lbs less than them, they were just as excited for me to hit MY goals as they were for their own. We had one or two "machines" (leg curl/leg extension, I think), but all the rest was free weight racks.
As soon as I identified my intimidated feelings, I decided to meet them head. fucking. on. Bah. Intimidated. Fuck that.
I'm feisty, but I'm not stupid. I did my research first so I wouldn't hurt myself. I know what it feels like when I will need a spotter if I add 10 more lbs. So here I am, with what might be regarded as "pitiful" numbers for all of my lifts.
I admit, I gave a thought to how stupid it might look with a squat bar on my back and teeny little 2.5lb weights on each side when I was trying 50lbs. Maybe it did look stupid. But I did it. A big, friendly, beefy guy came over after a tough bench set and asked if I'd want a spotter for my next set. I might feel embarrassed that he noticed my prior struggle, but really, he WANTED me to succeed. He wasn't making fun of me for being weak. I saw him benching what must have been 200lbs, but he was enthusiastic to help me with my 65-er. Maybe I did look weak to him, but I'll bet he paid more attention to the fact that I'm actively trying to be stronger than how weak I am.
I've got potential to be powerful, damnit. I'm making my way there.
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