Ha. Stupid scales.

So this weekend, I was a good girl. On Saturday, I decided that I could give myself my "reward" for losing 5% of my body weight. It was initially supposed to be a pedicure, but I need new clothes (due to weight loss, upcoming summer, and the routine replacement of the clothes that are destroyed in my lab). So my reward was a shopping day!

I had also set up the goal to be on my feet a lot more than is typical for my weekends. My daily step goals are 12,000 steps (the default on my fitbit is 10,000, but that was too easy). I usually hit or beat this goal on the weekdays, and fall short on the weekends. But NOT THIS WEEKEND. I was determined to hit the goals on Sat and Sun. I still fell about 800 steps short on Saturday, but on Sunday, I was over 13,000, so I made up for it. I also managed to eat pretty well. However, I wasn't super careful about my sodium intake at the end of last week.

On Sunday, I walked to the gym (about 2 miles). I got there, did a good hard cardio session on the elliptical, and then walked back. I thought I might do weights, since the cardio seemed redundant with all the walking, but sometimes, weights leaves me feeling REALLY tired and weak, and I didn't want to face walking home two miles feeling like that. I found myself REALLY wanting to jog on the walk there and back, but I was carrying my gym bag, and that was just too unwieldy for jogging. So instead, I walked back a sort of serpentine path rather than directly home. It was nice. And like I mentioned before, the houses on the way are just gorgeous, so it's a really nice walk. The trees are blooming and everything is really fragrant. I love it.

174. What the fuck, yawl?

So I weighed in today at 174. I confirmed this on two different scales.

Holy crap? Or wholly crap?

This means several things:
1) I'm no longer obese.
2) I have absolutely met my 5% goal
3) I have lost 11 pounds.

I did so many various things that it's hard to say what "worked" for me. I REALLY watched the amount of salt that I ate. If I noticed that I ate more salt than usual in a day (my fitbit thingie helps me keep track), I would drink a lot of extra water. I have not eaten fried food in a while. I am eating more at home than out. I eat a carb-heavyish breakfast (either a bagel with light cream cheese or cereal with 2% milk). Last week, I ate about 200 more calories a day than usual. I dropped it back down this week.

In other news, I am having my "moon flow" (as it's so elegantly called in the book I'm reading--Temple of the Winds by Terry Goodkind. I love this book series). I've been more tired the last few days, but I'm pushing through it and sticking with my workouts. I don't honestly know if I'm the type of woman that retains water at this time of my cycle.

And for food/eating at home. My good friend, Katy, asked me if I plan out my meals for a week. No, I don't. I go shopping at a grocery store with an INCREDIBLE fruit/vegetable selection. I buy the things that are on sale and make a meal of them. So I bought two heads of cauliflower, cooked it with spatchcocked game hens and squash. I do what I always do--I made about 6 times more than I can eat and immediately portioned it out. That way, I can calculate the calories on this website. I'm not the kind of person that craves daily variety in my food. Of course, I love variety, but I also love convenience with my busy life.

If I make a huge amount of food about 1 or 2 times a week, I can eat it for lunch and dinner several days in the week. I keep canned soups and salad ingredients on hand for an alternative if I want.

Last night, I made a BIG batch of farfalle with a roasted red pepper sauce. I made the sauce from about a cup of the peppers (from a jar) with a can of diced tomatoes, a little can of tomato paste, a sauteed onion, about 1/2 cup skim milk, about 3 tablespoons of plain yogurt, and a few herbs (oregano, basil) blended up until smooth. This was served as a pasta-with-meat-sauce using browned ground turkey as the protein and about a cup of (frozen) peas in with it for sweetness to counter the acidic tang of the sauce. This was served with oven roasted asparagus. According to how I portioned it out, it ended up at 309 calories (342 with the asparagus).

Next up? I have several sweet potatoes to use. I have salmon. I might consider another protein besides salmon. I also need a vegetable to go with it.

SKEPTICISM

So weight loss is a funny thing. When I weigh in at 2 pounds heavier than I did before (I did this earlier this week. I weighed in at 179.25), I think "meh, that's probably just water/food in my belly/humidity/El Nino." I dismiss it as a sort of "false positive" as we say in the schientific community. I don't think I'm entirely wrong in doing this because often on the next day, I'll be back to "normal."

As long as the OVERALL trend is a decreasing weight, and the spike of an increase is just occasional (which it is), I don't really mind it.

But yesterday, I weighed in at 175.25lbs. That puts me at a 1.75 loss for the week? Srsly? I weighed in at 8pm. I had a lot of water to drink that day. I ate normally. I didn't really do anything out of the ordinary that might have given such a low weight (like liposuction or a lobotomy). Part of me is all giddy and excited about seeing that number. However---I don't TRUST IT. I feel like seeing the scale is just making fun of me or something (very scientific, right?). It will taunt me with this low number, and then I'll weigh in at 182 or something tomorrow.

So the good news about this number (if it's real) is that this means I have lost 5% of my body weight (9.25lbs) in 9 weeks. About a pound a week is reasonable. If I lose just a BIT more (that is, putting me in the 174 range) I will officially be "overweight" instead of "obese."

It's kind of funny to say "YAY!! I'm OVERWEIGHT!! WOOHOO!!!"

And here's another weird thing about my weight loss. By using my fitbit profile thingie, I have been keeping track of my body measurements along the way. When I first measured myself, I used the cord on my headphones and this one particular red ruler. I did this at work, with my clothes on. I figured, since that's how I did my starting measurements, that's how I would have to do it from now on. Clothed, cord, red ruler.

(sidenote: It's really depressing when I take the cord from around my hips and can physically see how fucking long the measurement is. LAME.)

My neck measurement has gone down by 0.5in.
Bicep: Down 0.5in
Forearm: Down 0.5in
Chest: Down 1.5 in
Waist: Same
Hips: Down 1.0in
Thigh: Down 1.3in (I measure at upper thigh, but they recommend down around the quad. I would rather track upper thigh flub, thanks).
Calf: Down 0.8in

And when I started writing about measurements, I had in mind to complain about how I'm not really losing inches. And that even though I'm not losing inches, my pants are looser.

But once I wrote down the measurements, I realized that I AM losing inches. Just a bit more than 7 so far. It's not much, but it's 7 inches! I'll bet that if you were having a discussion about 7 inches of something, you didn't think it would be the flab on my body, eh?

Regarding my pants, I am currently in between sizes. The pants that fit well when I started this are loose. But the pants that I have that are a size smaller are still too tight. So I'll be a belt-wearing lady for a while.

Yay weight loss! But I'm still skeptical of the 175.25. We'll see how that goes.

Hhaarrrggghhh

I'm tired today.

I took Saturday off from working out, but I went for a 30 minute run/walk with my dog on Sunday. The primary goal of this was to wear him out so I could give him a haircut. It was a success. I then gave him a bath. Post bath, I went to go check out the goings-on on the internets, when I discovered that my computer wouldn't turn on. Shit. I'll leave it alone, let it think about how great I am for a day, and how it doesn't want to give out on me because it loves me.

The next day, I found out I had a fried motherboard. :( New computer time. So I shelled out the moolah for a new computer. Feeling sorry for myself, I did not go to the gym Monday. In order to fulfill my 5 day a week goal, this meant that I would have to double up on either Tuesday or Wednesday. On Tues., D an I had a belated birthday breakfast at my favorite breakfast place in Denver, Snooze AM Eatery. It was DELICIOUS. I had their vanilla almond brulee oatmeal with fresh berries/bananas. D and I shared a pineapple upside down pancake and I had just a few bites. We finished breakfast early enough for me to be able to sneak in a trip to the gym.

40 minutes of cardio later, I rinsed off, and started my day. At lunch, I had a bowl of soup and then went for a brisk 45 minute walk with my dog, to constitute my "double up" workout. Since that wasn't quite enough in my own mind, today (Weds) will be a HARD day of cardio. :) Should be fun.

I AM A WALKING MACHINE

Doesn't sound so sexy, I know.

So yesterday, after work, D and I decided to go to Chili's for dinner before we would be meeting up with some friends for a birthday extravaganza later in the evening.

Temptations galore.

In order to explain things to you, I need to tell you about my dog, Boots. Boots is a crazy fucker. He's a 25lb cocker spaniel that has separation anxiety, stranger anxiety, other-dog anxiety, and anxiety anxiety. And he's delightful despite all this. But! This makes nights like this a bit complicated. D and I would be meeting for dinner at about 7:45. I was done at work at about...7?? So it's hard for me and for my dog when I come home for just a sec and then leave right away. Especially since the best way that I have dealt with Boots' separation anxiety is this sort of calm "leaving the apartment" routine. He has come to accept that this routine means that I'm coming back and he'll be okay. But if the departure routine occurs while he's really high energy, it just DOES. NOT. WORK. And when I first come home, the first...hour...he's just super excited to see me and jumping around and being cute.

So! Instead of heading home for that 45 minutes, I decided three things:
1) I have a library audio book thing that I need to return to the library.
2) The library is 2 miles away.
3) I'm going to walk there!

So I started marching my ass down there. Let me tell you--the houses that are on my walk along the way are GORGEOUS. They aren't (all) mansions. There are homes of all sizes and so many of them are just lovely to look at.

I got almost to the library when the BF called me saying that he was leaving the hair cut place and that he'd be at the library soon. Well, I didn't just want to STAND THERE. And Chili's is just a couple miles north on the road that I was already on. So I told the BF that I would just keep walking and that he should call me when he was on a certain cross street and I'd tell him where I was. I made it another mile before he caught up to me.
According to my fitbit (pedometer), I took 23,278 step in total yesterday and 10.45 miles. Every day, I have the goal of walking 12,000 steps and 6 miles. I usually can't quite hit this goal without a nice long walk or without a cardio day at the gym. 23,000 steps?!?! I am MONSTER.

Oh, and the temptations.

D got chips and salsa at dinner (mmm...my favorite snack). I didn't even have a CRUMB.
I ate a half rack of ribs and steamed veggies (only 560 calories. I had not eaten much during the day, and I needed to eat about 600 calories to meet my daily intake goal).
Later at the bar, I didn't drink ANY beer. I love beer. And I resisted.

I was super proud.

Delicious Food and 177, Bitches!

177lbs. Ba-dow. BMI is 30.4 and I am two pounds away from being at the high end of "overweight" and out of the "obesity range." Additionally, this marks 8lbs of loss! ADDITIONALLY! I am 1.25lbs away from by 5% goal. WOO!!

Okay. So I didn't go to Wendy's. I just didn't have time. Instead I ate a Kashi GoLean bar that I found in my purse (no idea how old it was, haha). And later, a pumpernickel bagel.

Mmmm.....carbs. As a result of my crazy day, I had only eaten ~730 calories by dinner time. The previous night, I had decided that I would cook some cornish game hens that I had in my freezer. I was dreadfully short on vegetation in the apartment, so I ventured over to the Sunflower Market. I came home with two gorgeous cauliflowers, two bunches of asparagus, some potatoes, a butternut squash (forgetting that I already had a squash at home), and sweet potatoes.

Here's how I always cook:
1) Meat
2) Vegetable
3) Starch
4) Sauce (optional, depending on the nature of the other ingredients)

There it is folks. It's that simple, haha.
So the hens were spatchcocked, lightly salted, and sprinkled with smoked paprika (seasoning was worked under the skin). They were placed directly into a hot (med-high) cast iron skillet (breast side down, but with the legs folded underneath so that they had the brunt of the heat) and weighted down with a large cooking pot full of hot water.

THURSDAYS

Fuckcrap.

So, I've promised. No fried food for a month. I told the boyfriend (I often call him "D" on here) about it, so he'll help keep me accountable.

Today is Thursday. It's our group meeting day, and there's this general mad rush to finish a lot of research data so that it can be presented to the big boss by 2pm. This often means no lunch on Thursdays. It also often means a quick walk down to Wendy's for something that able to eat while walking (that is, fries, or chicken nuggets of shame). I brought some snacks with me to work today (an apple and an orange). I didn't eat breakfast, though. So I've eaten both the apple and orange, and I'm STARVING.

So there are problems with hunger and "dieting." It often leads to binging on indulgent foods. It can lead to overeating. I'll be fighting this by the time I can finally eat later. We'll see how this hellstorm goes.

Mini-Goals, 177.5 pounds, and PUNISHMENT.

So obviously, the major goal here is to be healthier and to lose weight. I have this image of what I hope my body might look like once I'm at my goal weight. I can wear sleeveless shirts without huge embarrassment. I can go running without worrying so much about my jiggly parts. I don't have to worry so much about muffin top and dimply parts. However!! I have a pretty dense little frame. I will never be one of those tiny petite size 2 people, I'm pretty sure. I think that my goal size would be a size 6. I love being a curvy little brick house. So my original goal weight was 145. That puts me right in the middle of the "healthy" category for someone my size. I don't want to teeter at the edge of healthy and overweight. I want to be well within the "healthy" range.

But! I weighed in last night at 177.5 (WOOO!!!), more than 30 pounds away from this target. It just seems like quite an unsurmountable goal. As it stands, each pound is a serious struggle, and from what I have heard, the last 15 pounds is a fuckshit.

So I have adopted a setup of mini goals to keep me motivated along the way. This was inspired by my weigh-in group on my friend's blog.
Quick side-note: Everyone who trying to lose weight should sign up! It's not exclusive to any group of people and she doesn't publish your weight. On there, she has the weekly losses/gains of everyone, weight lost so far, and two goals. In addition to the little community of support available to you on the weight loss journey, she is a wonderful cook. She posts all sorts of creative recipes that are weight-smart and DELICIOUS.
So back on track. My two current mini-goals are this:
1) To lose 5% (by the end of April). Since my starting weight was 185, a 5% loss amounts to 9.25lbs. So far, I've lost 7.5lbs! Looking back, this doesn't seem like a lot since I started this whole shebang on Feb 14. But! I'm in my 8th week of this journey, and a reasonable target is about 1lb a week. So! I'm sort of on schedule.
2) To go to the gym 5 days a week for 12 weeks. When I started on Feb 14, I went to the gym 4 days a week for 4 weeks. Once I had done that, I started going 5 days a week (starting on Thurs, March 17). So I'm in week 3 of this (provided I go to the gym today, which I will). I can totally do it. The reward is a concert with D.

Logging Food...and Lies. LIES!!!

Okay. So Sunday was my Birthday. Saturday was the Boyfriend's mom's birthday. We went to her place and there was grilling and sausages and veggies and fruit. I sort of grazed on the fruit/veggies the whole time before the grilling was done. It's hard to estimate the calories you ate in something someone ELSE cooks for you. I did my best, though. Grilled sausages, grilled zucchini, and a variety of sides. Looking back on it now, I know that I didn't log all of my food eaten. Ah well.

Later that night was a "group birthday party" for all the people that have birthdays in April. All of these friends are good cooks. Deviled eggs, mac and cheese (I just had a bite), and a variety of other munchies that I generally avoided. However. Beer. BEEERR. I DRANK A LOT OF BEER. I didn't count how many. I didn't log the calories. I just decided to ignore it and give myself a "birthday pass" on my calorie counter.

But here's the other thing. I wear my fitbit on the center of my bra. My fitbit estimates the calories I burn based on the accelerometer inside of it. I don't "falsify" movement by shaking it or anything. In fact, there are lots of activities that my fitbit misses when I'm not wearing it. I forgot to wear the fitbit on most of Sunday, so it didn't estimate all of the calories I burned. Also...there are other...extracurriculars...that I'm sure burn some calories when, you know...I'm not wearing my bra. Fortunately for me, you can manually enter an....ahem....activity (such as the one I'm being oh-so-demure about) onto the fitbit site. I just can't bring myself to publicize such an activity from 11:40pm-12:30am. I also don't like evaluating if it was "moderate effort" or "vigorous effort." I entered it once. It was hilarious to see that blip of activity in my graph of "calories burned."

So this weekend I didn't log everything I ate/drank. I figure that this little...omission is compensated for by the activities that my fitbit doesn't know about. I vowed to myself once I started logging calories that I would be totally honest. Mostly because once I start giving myself "exceptions" here and there, I end up with a mountain of exceptions and 400 calories logged for the day. So in this instance, it's a birthday exception. Only to be used on this weekend in April.

Ha-HA! 178.25.

Boosh. Now to stay soundly in the 170s. For real this time.

Oh, nevermind the leftover pizza that I HAVE to eat. Do any of you do this with leftovers? I order something really unhealthy (the enormous carne asada "Burrito Loco" from 3 margaritas, a pizza, some other shitty food) and then I eat it in tiny, approximately 200-300 calorie portions. I know that sounds like a lot of calories, but because shitty food is so high in fat, it's very calorie-dense. So yes, one slice of pizza is about 270 calories. And I'll eat that (and maybe a piece of fruit) for lunch.

I can't just THROW IT AWAY!!! The real solution is that I shouldn't have bought it in the first place. Duh. So this is, in a way, reminiscent of the Twinkie diet professor. Remember my post about a calorie is a calorie is a calorie, regardless of its source? This is what I was thinking of when I wrote it. The professor ate nothing but junk crap Hostess food for 10 weeks. But, he made sure that his actual calorie count that he ate was less than what he burned.

BOTTOM LINE. IF YOU BURN MORE THAN YOU EAT, YOU WILL LOSE WEIGHT.
you know, provided that you don't gain muscle or water weight or are pregnant or growing an enormous tumor or something.

So. You'd think (and health "experts" would have you think) that sure, he's losing weight, but his cholesterol/heart pressure/galbladder will suffer from a "diet" like this. Well, his cholesterol levels IMPROVED. His body fat percentage went down. His blood pressure was not negatively affected.

Bottom line? Losing weight is good for you. Doing it the healthy way is probably even better for you (I guess).

So I feel bad about eating things like pizza. However, I feel less bad about it when I just acknowledge the shitty thing I ate, and make sure the rest of my day keeps me in a calorie deficit.

BUT! I'm still new at this. I could be making a huge mistake on this front. I don't want you to go on thinking that I'm eating 1500 calories of bacon fat all day. For the most part (that is, more than 80% of my calories eaten), the food I eat is very healthy, fresh food. And I started this post saying I wanted to stay in the 170s. I do. I will continue to cook more at home and eat better food. But when I make a decision to be indulgent (like ordering a pizza), I've not been gorging on the pizza like I had done before, leaving me with a week's worth of pizza to eat in small portions. And eventually, it feels shameful to have "pizza, 270 calories" on my calorie counter 3 days in a row. But to me, that's better than a dinner lineup of "pizza, 890 calories."