SPRINGTIME

I think it's something about springtime that kicks me into gear. It happened last year, and it's happening again. I won't make statements like "maybe this time it will stick," or shit like that. But this is what I know:

D and I are getting married in August. I don't want to embarrassed to see photos of myself on such a wonderful day as that.

During my roly poly hibernation from health and exercise, I have REFUSED to buy new clothes. I wore my size 14s and large to XL tops, somehow managing to keep my weight JUST under stuffed sausage in those clothes.

I had a miscarriage in January. During that time, I had several medical appointments where I weighed in (clothed) at 190, 195, 199.9. CRAP CRAP CRAP. Seriously! Heaviest ever.

I dealt with emotional turmoil, hormonal flux, and stress like I always do--accidental weight loss. I somehow, without trying, went back down to my official re-weigh in: 187.75.
For a reminder, this is 7 pounds heavier than my prior "let's do this" moment. And with that plan, what I did was eat healthy, work out 4-5 days a week, and monitor my activity with a fitbit (pedometer type thingy). Here is where I feel I went wrong:
When I was eating "healthy," I was constantly managing calories, portion control, stressing out over not having a daily calorie deficit, etc. I was trying very hard to cut out fats, eat veggies, and eat other foods that would help me feel full. Additionally, I would do things like eat Chick-fil-A (nuggets and fries), note the calories, and adjust my remaining daily allowance accordingly. I figured, if I just keep below X number and work out X amount, the weight would come off.

And to some extent it did. But I was becoming QUICKLY exhausted with this micromanagement. It was all I thought about. So my micromanaging dwindled off, and I stopped controlling portions/balances, but kept eating what I liked. Surprise, surprise--weight gain!

Additionally, I started out all enthusiastic about "lifting weights." I was doing a lot of those machine weights at the gym--you know, the ones way less intimidating than free weights. Obviously, no one can see muscle gain/tone until the fat comes off a reasonable amount. So my enthusiasm for the "lifting" dwindled as I saw no appreciable improvement or results. So I stuck to cardio--which is so mind numbing and boring that I dwindled off of that, too.

With fitness, and more specifically, with weight loss, everyone is looking for that thing--that plan/regimen/ideaology that will "change their life for real." Something more permanent--or at least something they can stick to until the goals are achieved.

SO, like the good little scientist I am, I hit the medical journals. I delved into every relevant peer reviewed thing I could find (obesity research, PCOS research, type II diabetes research, macronutrient/diet research) to try to fish out what is a good fit for me.

I'll write more about this next time. For now, I'll let you know that I started over again on April 30, 2012 weighing in at 187.75. Yesterday, May 9, 2012, I weighed in at 181.5 Here we go, body. Let's do this.