Complainnnn!!!

Stupid scale. 173.5 today.

I didn't do so hot on either calories or activity on the weekend, but definitely not 3,500 more calories eaten than burned. Why such a gain?

Magic. The bad kind.

I will do a better job of eating well, try to do better at being active on the weekend, and try to STICK TO my gym regimen. I need to exercise twice either today or tomorrow to keep to my goal.

173.5??? :(

A weird weekend.

So on Saturday, I indulgently slept in until 10, went to work until about 3:30, and then went to my 3rd tattoo session at 4. The result? Not a lot of movement for the day. I average about 12,000-13,000 steps on the week days. I think I didn't break 10,000 for BOTH Sat. and Sun. :( :( :(

Laying on my belly getting my back tattooed for 4h, followed by being relatively still during recovery does not amount to a lot of movement. As such, I ate like normal-ish (maybe a BIT more indulgently) and did not have the nice calorie deficits that I'm used to. For example, I usually shoot for eating 1700 calories a day and burning 2400. I am almost always very close to this. On Saturday, I ate 1400 and burned 1900. On Sunday I ate 1800 and burned.....1750. Whoops.

So I've had a good run of weight loss in April. I've lost 6.5lbs since April began. I started out the month with upping my calorie intake from about 1700 to about 1900 for a week. I then dropped it back down to about 1500 for a week. I'm not sure if that's what did the trick, but I did see great numbers this month so far. That's part of the reason why I'm not stressing out about it.

I'm currently (as of my weigh in last week) about 6 lbs away from losing 10% of my body weight. I'm 2.5lbs away from my next photo-session (and 2.5lbs away from 15lbs lost!).

All-in-all, I feel....weird. It might be because of how lax I've been lately. Maybe it's the tattoo pain that's making my brain strange. Maybe it's the weird things going on in my audio book. Maybe it's feeling antsy from not working out since Friday.

But today is a weird day. I intend to get things back on track by having a nice, HARD, cardio session with a bit of weights thrown in at lunch today. Wish me luck!

172.5lbs and Existentialist Crises (Crisises? Dilemmae?)

So I submitted my "Thursday" weigh-in on my weight loss group. I weighed in on Wednesday at 174. My Thursdays are unpredictable and busy, so I usually submit the weight that I get at the gym on Weds as my weight so that I'm not super late in submitting.

I weigh in on a balance beam scale in my gym. With those balance beam scales, sometimes you can tell that you are "in between" the readings. I was less than 174, but more than 173.5 for sure. I don't like standing in the locker room naked for 5 minutes staring at the slowly moving balance beam, so I often just accept certain reads as "close enough." I use "quotes" a lot.

Yesterday (Thurs), I did have some unexpected free time to pop over to the gym. I weighed in at 172.5. Because I was skeptical of this weight (it seems that I'm always skeptical of my weigh-ins), I stood there, nekkid as a jaybird (you can thank my dad for that phrase), staring at that stupid balance beam until it was SMACK in the middle of the thingie. You know what I mean. I was SURE that I must be imagining it. But there it was. 172.5lbs, BMI 29.6.

SO! As for my existentialist debacles. Last blog post, I was discussing ideal weight and frame size and whatnot. Because I'm a scientist, I obsessed over the numbers of it all, looking up a multitude of sources for my ideal weight. Additionally, I consulted the American Medical Association as well as the surgeon general's recommendations. Both of those adhere to BMI, so basically, there's way too much random "facts" to pick one. So I have decided to amend my current weight loss goal.

At 5'4 I want to weigh 130lbs. EVERY single weight loss recommendation I saw had this number within their "healthy" range.

I'm a touch worried that I'll get to 150 and quit. I still have this fear that I won't feel like myself if I'm not at least a bit more "fluffy" than skinny people. But I don't want this fear of the unknown to stop me from getting where I'm going. Maybe I'll get there, keep it for a few months, and decide to keep things at a more relaxed weight?

Maybe I'll get to 145 and hit a monster plateau and stay at that weight forever. I read a lady's blog recently where she stayed within 225 and 232 for 20 months. 20 MOTHERFUCKING MONTHS TO LOSE 7 LBS?!?! I don't know if I could emotionally handle that.

So! What's the plan? I plan to not let myself get discouraged before I even approach obstacles. I've already lost 12.5lbs. I'm 27.5lbs away from my original goal and 42.5 away from my new one. I will keep that initial goal in the forefront for now, though.

Diet Chic recommended that I should keep goals of 10lbs at a time in mind. And I do sort of do that already, but mostly I keep the end in mind. Maybe I should do what she says, eh? 2.5lbs away from new pictures!!! 7.5lbs away from the big 2-0 loss. I should make some mini-rewards for that.

Still at 174 and a Re-evaluation of my goals.

My weight is 174lbs
My BMI is 29.9.

I am so...tentative about this weight. I hate stepping on the scale for fear that it's a weird "up" day and that I'll be magically obese again (175 and up is "obese" according to BMI for my 5'4" height).

I know, I know. BMI sucks. Blah blah, body frame, something about muscle density. But it still feels profound to be labelled as OBESE, whatever the measure. In good news, my waist-to-hip ratio is still 0.79. This is puts me in the "healthy" range.

So my initial goal was to get to 145. That is to lose 40 lbs. I've lost 11 pounds. 29 to go?

Well that's tricky now. Because if I'm adhering to BMI, 145 puts me RIGHT at the line between overweight and "healthy." I really want to be smack in the middle of healthy. Not hovering in between. That would mean 127 pounds. Holy fuckcrap. That's super tiny. AGAIN. I know that BMI is lame.

For adjusted ideal body weight (according to frame size), I'm "in between."

According to my wrist circumference, I have a "broad" body frame and should weigh anywhere from 132-149.
According to the breadth of my elbow, I have a medium frame and should be somewhere between 122 and 135.

So to be safe, maybe I should set my goal for the average? 134.5? Hot damn. I can't even remotely imagine what I would look like at that weight. I feel like I have too much muscle to weigh 135. Losing 50lbs?!?! That's like, impossible. And that means I'd have 39 more pounds to lose.

I had a mini-promise to myself to take pictures at every 10lbs lost. But I forgot to start the photos until I was 180. So at 170lbs, I'll take some photos. What I might do is get to that magical 134.5 and maintain it for a while. If maintaining that weight feels like way too much work, I might review the photos and reconsider what is a comfortable weight to maintain. I dunno. Anything under 150 feels unreasonably thin to me somehow. I've not been that small since....early high school? I don't have any idea what size I would be wearing. It's just impossible to fathom.

And will I still have this round face? Will my boobs sag? Where will my skin go? Will my tattoos look different?

Do I even want to be "skinny?" Ugh. We'll see. I want to be fucking hot, that's what. I want to look good on a beach.
Even though I live in the mountains, haha.

Delicious dinner--More calories than expected.

So I made some salmon last night. Salmon with a honey sriracha "glaze." I saw some recipes for a honey glaze on salmon, and I just wanted to spice it up. I was inspired by a delicious wing sauce that is made at a local pub, unsurprisingly named "Honey Sriracha" sauce. All of the recipes I saw had about 1tbsp honey, thinned with 1tbsp vegetable oil, various other seasonings, and then brushed on the salmon and baked. First of all, I love sautee-ing things. Salmon especially. But, okay, I'll bake it. Fine. But when salmon (and all fattier fishes) render out their fat, it forms a sort of white gelatinous pool either on top of or around the fish. It looks..unappetizing. When sautee-ing, this can just be scraped away, but when baking, it just sits there. Taunting you. On top of the filet.

As for the glaze, I thought I'd save myself some calories and use a bit of water to thin out the honey instead. It did not stick to the salmon very well at all. That is no surprise now, considering how thin it was. An oily mixture would have been more viscous. Duh. HOWEVER. It did really get a chance to flavor the salmon. Both the honey and sriracha were delightfully apparent without overwheming the delicious salmon taste. Just not nice and glaze-y like I had wanted.

The green beans were simply steamed. I thought about making them fancy, but D and I just so love the taste of garden fresh green beans. I didn't want to spoil that sort of natural perfection.

I took my friend's advice and used jasmine rice as my starch. However, with the slightly asian-ified salmon, I decided to give the rice some subtle flavors, too. Sriracha is a garlic and hot chile paste, so I used about 2 cloves of garlic, minced fine, and about 1tbsp grated ginger for 2 cups of rice (uncooked, 4 cups cooked). I made a lot of extra rice because I have PLANS for it later in the week. Nothing fancy. Just leftovers. I sauteed the garlic and ginger in just a touch of oil. I cooked up the jasmine rice with the garlic/ginger stirred into it. It's just a TOUCH of the aromatic components in that sea of rice (hence the "scented" rice). It went really nicely with the rest of the food.

But LO AND BEHOLD. Salmon has a crap-ton of calories per oz. It's a fatty fish. Fat calories add up. If you go by the recommended serving size (3oz, about the size of a deck of cards), it is 175 calories. I portioned out 5oz filets, so thats more like 290 calories. JUST FOR THE SALMON.

With about 1/2 cup cooked rice and the green beans (and all the extra seasonings), the total is 504 fucking calories! Which is a lot! Fortunately for me (and for D), we had room for this kind of calorie consumption at the end of the day. So it wasn't the worst thing ever, but just surprising.

AND DELICIOUS.

Ha. Stupid scales.

So this weekend, I was a good girl. On Saturday, I decided that I could give myself my "reward" for losing 5% of my body weight. It was initially supposed to be a pedicure, but I need new clothes (due to weight loss, upcoming summer, and the routine replacement of the clothes that are destroyed in my lab). So my reward was a shopping day!

I had also set up the goal to be on my feet a lot more than is typical for my weekends. My daily step goals are 12,000 steps (the default on my fitbit is 10,000, but that was too easy). I usually hit or beat this goal on the weekdays, and fall short on the weekends. But NOT THIS WEEKEND. I was determined to hit the goals on Sat and Sun. I still fell about 800 steps short on Saturday, but on Sunday, I was over 13,000, so I made up for it. I also managed to eat pretty well. However, I wasn't super careful about my sodium intake at the end of last week.

On Sunday, I walked to the gym (about 2 miles). I got there, did a good hard cardio session on the elliptical, and then walked back. I thought I might do weights, since the cardio seemed redundant with all the walking, but sometimes, weights leaves me feeling REALLY tired and weak, and I didn't want to face walking home two miles feeling like that. I found myself REALLY wanting to jog on the walk there and back, but I was carrying my gym bag, and that was just too unwieldy for jogging. So instead, I walked back a sort of serpentine path rather than directly home. It was nice. And like I mentioned before, the houses on the way are just gorgeous, so it's a really nice walk. The trees are blooming and everything is really fragrant. I love it.

174. What the fuck, yawl?

So I weighed in today at 174. I confirmed this on two different scales.

Holy crap? Or wholly crap?

This means several things:
1) I'm no longer obese.
2) I have absolutely met my 5% goal
3) I have lost 11 pounds.

I did so many various things that it's hard to say what "worked" for me. I REALLY watched the amount of salt that I ate. If I noticed that I ate more salt than usual in a day (my fitbit thingie helps me keep track), I would drink a lot of extra water. I have not eaten fried food in a while. I am eating more at home than out. I eat a carb-heavyish breakfast (either a bagel with light cream cheese or cereal with 2% milk). Last week, I ate about 200 more calories a day than usual. I dropped it back down this week.

In other news, I am having my "moon flow" (as it's so elegantly called in the book I'm reading--Temple of the Winds by Terry Goodkind. I love this book series). I've been more tired the last few days, but I'm pushing through it and sticking with my workouts. I don't honestly know if I'm the type of woman that retains water at this time of my cycle.

And for food/eating at home. My good friend, Katy, asked me if I plan out my meals for a week. No, I don't. I go shopping at a grocery store with an INCREDIBLE fruit/vegetable selection. I buy the things that are on sale and make a meal of them. So I bought two heads of cauliflower, cooked it with spatchcocked game hens and squash. I do what I always do--I made about 6 times more than I can eat and immediately portioned it out. That way, I can calculate the calories on this website. I'm not the kind of person that craves daily variety in my food. Of course, I love variety, but I also love convenience with my busy life.

If I make a huge amount of food about 1 or 2 times a week, I can eat it for lunch and dinner several days in the week. I keep canned soups and salad ingredients on hand for an alternative if I want.

Last night, I made a BIG batch of farfalle with a roasted red pepper sauce. I made the sauce from about a cup of the peppers (from a jar) with a can of diced tomatoes, a little can of tomato paste, a sauteed onion, about 1/2 cup skim milk, about 3 tablespoons of plain yogurt, and a few herbs (oregano, basil) blended up until smooth. This was served as a pasta-with-meat-sauce using browned ground turkey as the protein and about a cup of (frozen) peas in with it for sweetness to counter the acidic tang of the sauce. This was served with oven roasted asparagus. According to how I portioned it out, it ended up at 309 calories (342 with the asparagus).

Next up? I have several sweet potatoes to use. I have salmon. I might consider another protein besides salmon. I also need a vegetable to go with it.

SKEPTICISM

So weight loss is a funny thing. When I weigh in at 2 pounds heavier than I did before (I did this earlier this week. I weighed in at 179.25), I think "meh, that's probably just water/food in my belly/humidity/El Nino." I dismiss it as a sort of "false positive" as we say in the schientific community. I don't think I'm entirely wrong in doing this because often on the next day, I'll be back to "normal."

As long as the OVERALL trend is a decreasing weight, and the spike of an increase is just occasional (which it is), I don't really mind it.

But yesterday, I weighed in at 175.25lbs. That puts me at a 1.75 loss for the week? Srsly? I weighed in at 8pm. I had a lot of water to drink that day. I ate normally. I didn't really do anything out of the ordinary that might have given such a low weight (like liposuction or a lobotomy). Part of me is all giddy and excited about seeing that number. However---I don't TRUST IT. I feel like seeing the scale is just making fun of me or something (very scientific, right?). It will taunt me with this low number, and then I'll weigh in at 182 or something tomorrow.

So the good news about this number (if it's real) is that this means I have lost 5% of my body weight (9.25lbs) in 9 weeks. About a pound a week is reasonable. If I lose just a BIT more (that is, putting me in the 174 range) I will officially be "overweight" instead of "obese."

It's kind of funny to say "YAY!! I'm OVERWEIGHT!! WOOHOO!!!"

And here's another weird thing about my weight loss. By using my fitbit profile thingie, I have been keeping track of my body measurements along the way. When I first measured myself, I used the cord on my headphones and this one particular red ruler. I did this at work, with my clothes on. I figured, since that's how I did my starting measurements, that's how I would have to do it from now on. Clothed, cord, red ruler.

(sidenote: It's really depressing when I take the cord from around my hips and can physically see how fucking long the measurement is. LAME.)

My neck measurement has gone down by 0.5in.
Bicep: Down 0.5in
Forearm: Down 0.5in
Chest: Down 1.5 in
Waist: Same
Hips: Down 1.0in
Thigh: Down 1.3in (I measure at upper thigh, but they recommend down around the quad. I would rather track upper thigh flub, thanks).
Calf: Down 0.8in

And when I started writing about measurements, I had in mind to complain about how I'm not really losing inches. And that even though I'm not losing inches, my pants are looser.

But once I wrote down the measurements, I realized that I AM losing inches. Just a bit more than 7 so far. It's not much, but it's 7 inches! I'll bet that if you were having a discussion about 7 inches of something, you didn't think it would be the flab on my body, eh?

Regarding my pants, I am currently in between sizes. The pants that fit well when I started this are loose. But the pants that I have that are a size smaller are still too tight. So I'll be a belt-wearing lady for a while.

Yay weight loss! But I'm still skeptical of the 175.25. We'll see how that goes.

Hhaarrrggghhh

I'm tired today.

I took Saturday off from working out, but I went for a 30 minute run/walk with my dog on Sunday. The primary goal of this was to wear him out so I could give him a haircut. It was a success. I then gave him a bath. Post bath, I went to go check out the goings-on on the internets, when I discovered that my computer wouldn't turn on. Shit. I'll leave it alone, let it think about how great I am for a day, and how it doesn't want to give out on me because it loves me.

The next day, I found out I had a fried motherboard. :( New computer time. So I shelled out the moolah for a new computer. Feeling sorry for myself, I did not go to the gym Monday. In order to fulfill my 5 day a week goal, this meant that I would have to double up on either Tuesday or Wednesday. On Tues., D an I had a belated birthday breakfast at my favorite breakfast place in Denver, Snooze AM Eatery. It was DELICIOUS. I had their vanilla almond brulee oatmeal with fresh berries/bananas. D and I shared a pineapple upside down pancake and I had just a few bites. We finished breakfast early enough for me to be able to sneak in a trip to the gym.

40 minutes of cardio later, I rinsed off, and started my day. At lunch, I had a bowl of soup and then went for a brisk 45 minute walk with my dog, to constitute my "double up" workout. Since that wasn't quite enough in my own mind, today (Weds) will be a HARD day of cardio. :) Should be fun.

I AM A WALKING MACHINE

Doesn't sound so sexy, I know.

So yesterday, after work, D and I decided to go to Chili's for dinner before we would be meeting up with some friends for a birthday extravaganza later in the evening.

Temptations galore.

In order to explain things to you, I need to tell you about my dog, Boots. Boots is a crazy fucker. He's a 25lb cocker spaniel that has separation anxiety, stranger anxiety, other-dog anxiety, and anxiety anxiety. And he's delightful despite all this. But! This makes nights like this a bit complicated. D and I would be meeting for dinner at about 7:45. I was done at work at about...7?? So it's hard for me and for my dog when I come home for just a sec and then leave right away. Especially since the best way that I have dealt with Boots' separation anxiety is this sort of calm "leaving the apartment" routine. He has come to accept that this routine means that I'm coming back and he'll be okay. But if the departure routine occurs while he's really high energy, it just DOES. NOT. WORK. And when I first come home, the first...hour...he's just super excited to see me and jumping around and being cute.

So! Instead of heading home for that 45 minutes, I decided three things:
1) I have a library audio book thing that I need to return to the library.
2) The library is 2 miles away.
3) I'm going to walk there!

So I started marching my ass down there. Let me tell you--the houses that are on my walk along the way are GORGEOUS. They aren't (all) mansions. There are homes of all sizes and so many of them are just lovely to look at.

I got almost to the library when the BF called me saying that he was leaving the hair cut place and that he'd be at the library soon. Well, I didn't just want to STAND THERE. And Chili's is just a couple miles north on the road that I was already on. So I told the BF that I would just keep walking and that he should call me when he was on a certain cross street and I'd tell him where I was. I made it another mile before he caught up to me.
According to my fitbit (pedometer), I took 23,278 step in total yesterday and 10.45 miles. Every day, I have the goal of walking 12,000 steps and 6 miles. I usually can't quite hit this goal without a nice long walk or without a cardio day at the gym. 23,000 steps?!?! I am MONSTER.

Oh, and the temptations.

D got chips and salsa at dinner (mmm...my favorite snack). I didn't even have a CRUMB.
I ate a half rack of ribs and steamed veggies (only 560 calories. I had not eaten much during the day, and I needed to eat about 600 calories to meet my daily intake goal).
Later at the bar, I didn't drink ANY beer. I love beer. And I resisted.

I was super proud.

Delicious Food and 177, Bitches!

177lbs. Ba-dow. BMI is 30.4 and I am two pounds away from being at the high end of "overweight" and out of the "obesity range." Additionally, this marks 8lbs of loss! ADDITIONALLY! I am 1.25lbs away from by 5% goal. WOO!!

Okay. So I didn't go to Wendy's. I just didn't have time. Instead I ate a Kashi GoLean bar that I found in my purse (no idea how old it was, haha). And later, a pumpernickel bagel.

Mmmm.....carbs. As a result of my crazy day, I had only eaten ~730 calories by dinner time. The previous night, I had decided that I would cook some cornish game hens that I had in my freezer. I was dreadfully short on vegetation in the apartment, so I ventured over to the Sunflower Market. I came home with two gorgeous cauliflowers, two bunches of asparagus, some potatoes, a butternut squash (forgetting that I already had a squash at home), and sweet potatoes.

Here's how I always cook:
1) Meat
2) Vegetable
3) Starch
4) Sauce (optional, depending on the nature of the other ingredients)

There it is folks. It's that simple, haha.
So the hens were spatchcocked, lightly salted, and sprinkled with smoked paprika (seasoning was worked under the skin). They were placed directly into a hot (med-high) cast iron skillet (breast side down, but with the legs folded underneath so that they had the brunt of the heat) and weighted down with a large cooking pot full of hot water.

THURSDAYS

Fuckcrap.

So, I've promised. No fried food for a month. I told the boyfriend (I often call him "D" on here) about it, so he'll help keep me accountable.

Today is Thursday. It's our group meeting day, and there's this general mad rush to finish a lot of research data so that it can be presented to the big boss by 2pm. This often means no lunch on Thursdays. It also often means a quick walk down to Wendy's for something that able to eat while walking (that is, fries, or chicken nuggets of shame). I brought some snacks with me to work today (an apple and an orange). I didn't eat breakfast, though. So I've eaten both the apple and orange, and I'm STARVING.

So there are problems with hunger and "dieting." It often leads to binging on indulgent foods. It can lead to overeating. I'll be fighting this by the time I can finally eat later. We'll see how this hellstorm goes.

Mini-Goals, 177.5 pounds, and PUNISHMENT.

So obviously, the major goal here is to be healthier and to lose weight. I have this image of what I hope my body might look like once I'm at my goal weight. I can wear sleeveless shirts without huge embarrassment. I can go running without worrying so much about my jiggly parts. I don't have to worry so much about muffin top and dimply parts. However!! I have a pretty dense little frame. I will never be one of those tiny petite size 2 people, I'm pretty sure. I think that my goal size would be a size 6. I love being a curvy little brick house. So my original goal weight was 145. That puts me right in the middle of the "healthy" category for someone my size. I don't want to teeter at the edge of healthy and overweight. I want to be well within the "healthy" range.

But! I weighed in last night at 177.5 (WOOO!!!), more than 30 pounds away from this target. It just seems like quite an unsurmountable goal. As it stands, each pound is a serious struggle, and from what I have heard, the last 15 pounds is a fuckshit.

So I have adopted a setup of mini goals to keep me motivated along the way. This was inspired by my weigh-in group on my friend's blog.
Quick side-note: Everyone who trying to lose weight should sign up! It's not exclusive to any group of people and she doesn't publish your weight. On there, she has the weekly losses/gains of everyone, weight lost so far, and two goals. In addition to the little community of support available to you on the weight loss journey, she is a wonderful cook. She posts all sorts of creative recipes that are weight-smart and DELICIOUS.
So back on track. My two current mini-goals are this:
1) To lose 5% (by the end of April). Since my starting weight was 185, a 5% loss amounts to 9.25lbs. So far, I've lost 7.5lbs! Looking back, this doesn't seem like a lot since I started this whole shebang on Feb 14. But! I'm in my 8th week of this journey, and a reasonable target is about 1lb a week. So! I'm sort of on schedule.
2) To go to the gym 5 days a week for 12 weeks. When I started on Feb 14, I went to the gym 4 days a week for 4 weeks. Once I had done that, I started going 5 days a week (starting on Thurs, March 17). So I'm in week 3 of this (provided I go to the gym today, which I will). I can totally do it. The reward is a concert with D.

Logging Food...and Lies. LIES!!!

Okay. So Sunday was my Birthday. Saturday was the Boyfriend's mom's birthday. We went to her place and there was grilling and sausages and veggies and fruit. I sort of grazed on the fruit/veggies the whole time before the grilling was done. It's hard to estimate the calories you ate in something someone ELSE cooks for you. I did my best, though. Grilled sausages, grilled zucchini, and a variety of sides. Looking back on it now, I know that I didn't log all of my food eaten. Ah well.

Later that night was a "group birthday party" for all the people that have birthdays in April. All of these friends are good cooks. Deviled eggs, mac and cheese (I just had a bite), and a variety of other munchies that I generally avoided. However. Beer. BEEERR. I DRANK A LOT OF BEER. I didn't count how many. I didn't log the calories. I just decided to ignore it and give myself a "birthday pass" on my calorie counter.

But here's the other thing. I wear my fitbit on the center of my bra. My fitbit estimates the calories I burn based on the accelerometer inside of it. I don't "falsify" movement by shaking it or anything. In fact, there are lots of activities that my fitbit misses when I'm not wearing it. I forgot to wear the fitbit on most of Sunday, so it didn't estimate all of the calories I burned. Also...there are other...extracurriculars...that I'm sure burn some calories when, you know...I'm not wearing my bra. Fortunately for me, you can manually enter an....ahem....activity (such as the one I'm being oh-so-demure about) onto the fitbit site. I just can't bring myself to publicize such an activity from 11:40pm-12:30am. I also don't like evaluating if it was "moderate effort" or "vigorous effort." I entered it once. It was hilarious to see that blip of activity in my graph of "calories burned."

So this weekend I didn't log everything I ate/drank. I figure that this little...omission is compensated for by the activities that my fitbit doesn't know about. I vowed to myself once I started logging calories that I would be totally honest. Mostly because once I start giving myself "exceptions" here and there, I end up with a mountain of exceptions and 400 calories logged for the day. So in this instance, it's a birthday exception. Only to be used on this weekend in April.

Ha-HA! 178.25.

Boosh. Now to stay soundly in the 170s. For real this time.

Oh, nevermind the leftover pizza that I HAVE to eat. Do any of you do this with leftovers? I order something really unhealthy (the enormous carne asada "Burrito Loco" from 3 margaritas, a pizza, some other shitty food) and then I eat it in tiny, approximately 200-300 calorie portions. I know that sounds like a lot of calories, but because shitty food is so high in fat, it's very calorie-dense. So yes, one slice of pizza is about 270 calories. And I'll eat that (and maybe a piece of fruit) for lunch.

I can't just THROW IT AWAY!!! The real solution is that I shouldn't have bought it in the first place. Duh. So this is, in a way, reminiscent of the Twinkie diet professor. Remember my post about a calorie is a calorie is a calorie, regardless of its source? This is what I was thinking of when I wrote it. The professor ate nothing but junk crap Hostess food for 10 weeks. But, he made sure that his actual calorie count that he ate was less than what he burned.

BOTTOM LINE. IF YOU BURN MORE THAN YOU EAT, YOU WILL LOSE WEIGHT.
you know, provided that you don't gain muscle or water weight or are pregnant or growing an enormous tumor or something.

So. You'd think (and health "experts" would have you think) that sure, he's losing weight, but his cholesterol/heart pressure/galbladder will suffer from a "diet" like this. Well, his cholesterol levels IMPROVED. His body fat percentage went down. His blood pressure was not negatively affected.

Bottom line? Losing weight is good for you. Doing it the healthy way is probably even better for you (I guess).

So I feel bad about eating things like pizza. However, I feel less bad about it when I just acknowledge the shitty thing I ate, and make sure the rest of my day keeps me in a calorie deficit.

BUT! I'm still new at this. I could be making a huge mistake on this front. I don't want you to go on thinking that I'm eating 1500 calories of bacon fat all day. For the most part (that is, more than 80% of my calories eaten), the food I eat is very healthy, fresh food. And I started this post saying I wanted to stay in the 170s. I do. I will continue to cook more at home and eat better food. But when I make a decision to be indulgent (like ordering a pizza), I've not been gorging on the pizza like I had done before, leaving me with a week's worth of pizza to eat in small portions. And eventually, it feels shameful to have "pizza, 270 calories" on my calorie counter 3 days in a row. But to me, that's better than a dinner lineup of "pizza, 890 calories."